May 15th 2024
Trying to watch CyberSix and Back to the Future, this week. I had a nice, productive month with just myself and the dog in the house. I cleaned out the garden pond and got new mulch on the ground. I opened so many windows to the sounds of windchimes and the smell of fresh air. It feels nice to finally have spring out and about after winter. And it is not even drizzling right now. Planting here I come! I already have some rosemary in a pot trying to take off. I need to get my basil seeds started before I lose the good growing weather.

April 5th 2024
Still working at the library and loving it but not loving my other job as much. Even if you have one job that makes money, try to get a job where people like you and think you're useful. It helps a lot. In other news went to another convention and it's amazing how if you don't like Hentai or shonen Anime, how little there is hout there for you. Get fucked if you like Shoujo and good like finding Jousei or Seinen at all. At least the concerts are fun. Rolling Quartz was pretty good. I also went to the second Otoboke Beaver show so far in my state. Loved the most pit in the bigger venue. Took a friend to it as her first concert. She seemed to like it even if she stayed out of the pit. I'm kind of surprised since she really isn't the punk type. Been a normal 6 months. I hope to update again, but sooner next time.


Nov 21st 2023 I don't understand why some places don't have translations of their signs. Wouldn't it be for the best to have multiple copies of rules and regulations in multiple languages? It helps cut down on any confusion for people who don't speak the popular language and would likely reduce employee workload, when people don't have to try to constantly correct people on how things work or how to work soemthing. Besides simply having multiple copies of one or two sentence instructions in places can help people learn languages. it's not exactly immersion camp but I can say Caution Wet Floor in Spanish from repeated exposure to it on signage. Why not make "Please don't climb this" in Itialian or Hindi just as common? Just having it up acknowledges the presences of people who speak those languages and can help them feel more welcome. Just pay someone to translate some stuff one time and have the translations at least. Then you can hand out the translations as needed if you don't want to post them. Things could be so easy, but management wants to lollygag and waffle.

Sept 6th 2023 Going to a small convention alone is actually kind of hard. Bigger conventions have plenty of things to do and lots of people who are willing to hang around and make small talk. The smaller the convention the less there is to do and the less people there are to talk with. The people that are there wasnt to either fuck you or already have friends they came with, so the chances of hanging out with others is close to zip. The convention itself was like alright. Really felt like it didn't need all three days. Two days would have been fine. 4/5 stars

August 10th 2023 No one asked, but here are my thoughts on censorship
What does censorship, truly accomplish? Censorship is, at its most basic, a denial of information. Censorship says, you can't know something because someone with power over you says so. There are plenty of reasons for it;malevolent manipulation, protection of self, protection of others, or simple belief that the informaiton should not exist. Censorship cuts the propagation of ideas off at the knee;it's not impossible to get around but much harder. Censorship wards away those who drop Hard R N-words on radio stations, but is also attempts to slam dunk someone's carrer into a dumpster when they drop an F bomb. Let's not even get into those who are Queer, in or out of the closet. Despite the harm denial of information tends to have as a while, I am of two minds about it. My opinion is that censorship on the whole is disagreeable, there are some specific instances where I find it worth using. Defense of government secrets from outside parties during wartime is one. Limiting ability for minors to access porngraphy, for two. Lastly preventing creation/distribution of genuine sexual/physical abuse media. In the case of wartime activities, I believe that information should be released up to ten years after the conclusion of the war. With children accessing pornography, that's an issue that solves itself with time as eventually they age out of the bracket and it's all gates open. I do not think that sex education is the same as pornography, and it should not be treated like it is. I'll freely admit that the last one is something that 'feels' like it shouldn't be shared. Footage of sexual abuse can be viewed as pornography, but i've lumped it together with physical abuse due to the damage this inflicts upon the people in the material. It's only for genuine abuse material, though. If a physically typical adult and a little person want to have some age play kink sex, it's not my deal but i'm not stopping them. If someone is an actor and is portraying a murder or a brutal beatdown, it's not snuff and should bee taken as the voluntary action it is.

July 15th 2023, I've never been on the otherside of an interaction centered around an activity where it is obvious the other person is doing it to make friends, without actually caring about the activity. Or, at the very least, not caring as much as I do about it. It's supremely frsutrating, but might have been better to deal with it it weren't a competetive situation. Thinking about post mortum organization today. IDK if I should write a will or just let things fall where they may. I dont know if anyone in my life has written their will. It's going to be a shit show if they haven't.

July 11th 2023 The convention was a lot of fun. The panels I went to were actually informative, instead of the disorganized mess the local Anime Convention's panels usually are. The panel on playing Evil DND characters left me with a hankering to play my Evil Son again. It would have been more fun with a friend to hang out with, but that wasn't in the cards and has not been for a while.

June 30th 2023, first of all Happy Birthday, Tsukino Usagi and ChibiUsa! Secondly, watched Interview with a vampire for the first time, today. I want every dress that Claudia owns. I read the books ages ago, when i was a tween and the specter of Ann Rice was looming over the heads of all the fanfic writers that dremt of holding a pen to paper. Sadly the word prestedigitation did not pop up even once in the movie. I first heard it in the book and was so proud of learning it, as children often are. It's a decent adaptation of the book, as far as i remember it. It is very much of its time but I root for Louis and his resistance tog etting back with his narsisstic ex. Bless, Dude. You resisted him acting like a pathetic wretch to gain your sympathy, when you weren't even prepared for it and you walked off smooth as butter. RIP the world that might have been for Claudia and Louis.(not for lestat,though. fuc 'im)

June 26th 2023, Spiritual Cramp was a fun show, while they were in town. I spent a lot of time standing around awkwardly, because I went alone to a punk show and didn't feel confident trying to interact with other concert goers, who were all in pairs or groups. I ended up liking the second opener, Bermuda Squares, more than the first Buio Omega, but B.O.'s vocalist put a lot of effort in. It almost feels theatrical in a way that seems like trying to makeup for a lack of something,but i couldn't tell you what. Attraction to aesthetic is strong for the mostly visual species that is Sighted Humanity, but it's not nearly so strong in punk circles. No one can accuse her of LipSynching,though, because she disconnected the mic more than once, while dancing in the half empty pit. Good growling on her,though. And the guitarist, Midge was a treat of a person. I had a very nice conversation with her. Bermuda Squares wasn't ground breaking but it felt good, was fun and direct to the point with music. Didn't seem like they were trying to make a name for themself and were comfortable being what they were, enjoyably so. Spiritual Cramp had one person in a gingham shirt at all times (first the vocalist than the bassist when the vocalist took his off), that made me strongly think of LetterKenny. The synth person had very 'Weird Al" hair and the bass guitarists had jackets on and caps that made them look like they were going to move some crates at the dock for a mob boss after this. One of the guitars apparently suffered a malfunction in the middle of the set and an opening band lent them one to continue playing. This vocalist had the most energy in the whole venue. The music was so loud i left the venue feeling like i was suffering a status ailment, but it was good stuff. If they're in your town, bring earplugs, but check them out.

June 19th 2023, It's a quiet Juneteenth morning and I am enjoying have awoken early, and sleeping well despite it. I have become an old woman, asleep at 8pm and awake at 5am even on my off days. But age is a privilege, you know! Not all of us get to be old. I am lucky and unlucky at once. We all accrue injuries as we age. There is no safe life, but one tries to live a life worth the harm. What that looks like is different for everyone. I want a life with friends and good food. It's harder than it really should be, but we all strie towards what does not come easily.

June 14th 2023, isn't it funny how humans have made Knowing Things our central trait? It is so much so that we shiver in the face of death, and create afterlives for ourselves because we want to know and the unknown scares us. (or at least scares lovecraft who couldn't understand air conditioning.) the USAmerican web-shpere likes to make jokes and guess at what our special characteristic would be if we were to be distilled down into a single idea decorating a Star Trek episode's alien of the week. I see a lot of "wouldn't it be funny if we were considered-" with so many, many different adjectives finishing that statement. I like the ones where we "pack bond" with things as our Special Trait. "good survivlaist" is a fun one, too. Curious is just as good as any other trait,thouugh, i suppose.

June 10th, I went to the Cherry Blossom festival after waiting an hour in the wrong place. Nearly sweat straight through my kimono, but I got there. I had a lot of reasons to be upset but it was honestly worth it to go. Planning to attend a gingham themed picnic and I have no idea what to wear, as I don't wear gingham at all. Back to the drawing board, I guess.

June 6th, had a bunch of nice food today. Tried a new restraunt. NiHao off of 42 does ramen,poke and boba tea. I grabbed some takoyaki and mango yakult. It wasn't spetacular but still pretty good. Also stopped by the standby cafe for a coffee and some eggs with toast- basic but tasty. you love to see it.

June 5th 2023

last night i thought i heard someone pulling at the door and asked my old man if he heard it. He said no but went to check it out. I was kind of surprised he took it seriously. I thought he wouldn't and would just tell me to fuck off and i would have to check it out myself. I honestly thought i was alone and it turns out i wasn't and i dont know what to do with that. it's kind of cutting the legs out from under my feelings that I have no place in this world, but not enough for me to feel like I belong anywhere or like i have a reason to exist. It cuts the legs just enough to sting.

May 26th, 2023

I'm having a good day so far, but endlessly tired. So many people around me are moving away or quitting, it's kind of saddening.